The adventure continues Part 4

In every story of adventure, those involved reach a point where the fun has ended adn it starts to get hard. in fact, in the good stories, you wonder if the travellers will ever be able to overcome the obstacle and reach their destination. I'm feeling a bit that way now.

Since my last post, the following has happened.

• The house we are renting has definitely been sold.
• It has passed a building inspection
• The new owners came with the agent to have another look (Yes, it would have been nice to ask, but after all, we are just renting.)
• We have been to look through a few more houses
• We are talking to some banks about a loan

Some things have come as no real surprise. Houses are over priced and so it seems improbable that we can buy a house anywhere near the area we would like to live. The suburbs on our radar are The Basin, Bayswater, Kilsyth, Mooroolbark, Croydon, Ringwood. Living in these areas means none of us have to change jobs, and we don't need to change church. And getting to Uni is still possible without a car.

I have little respect for property investors. (When did houses become more about profit than a place to live?!?!?!?)

Some things have come as a surprise. I am surprised at how quickly I no longer care about this house and the garden. I really like the garden here, and right now there are a number of beautiful colours in the front, but I used to stand in the back and dream about what it could be. Now, I don't care. finding motivation to even mow the lawn is really hard to find.

I'm also surprised at some of the houses that are for sale/rent and how bad they are. Particularly the rental properties. This isn't all of them. Some are great. And then there's this one:
 http://www.realestate.com.au/property-house-vic-mitcham-410937079
The photos don't do justice to just how bad this place really is. How can anyone who owns a building like this believe that it's ok to put someone else into it? And ask them to pay over $400 per week to do so!!

So, the adventure continues.

The adventure continues Part 3

Well, I am staggered. Over the weekend the house was open for inspection and it would seem there were a few people come through. That doesn't surprise me.

What did surprise me was the phone call that Anne received saying that some offers had been made for the house.

Today, I was absolutely staggered when the agent rang to say that someone had made an offer on the house and the owner had accepted it. I'm not surprised that someone would want to buy the house. It's not a bad house after all. However, it is the speed and price that surprises me.

There is to be a building inspection on Thursday morning and if that is clear, and I expect it will be, then the house will be sold. And we will have two months before we are homeless. (Melodramatic, I know.)

So can we still live in this area? 

The adventure continues Part 2

Since I last posted, quite a bit has happened. Anne has packed nearly everything in the house (not true, but close), we have visited a mortgage broker and spoken to a bank about a loan, we have met with the real estate agent selling the house, photos have been taken, and the sign has been placed out the front of the property. 

I am writing this in New Zealand where I am on a study trip, but I've been able to see the presentation of the house online. More of that later. 

So, where do I begin.

With the visit to the mortgage broker on Wednesday.

This broker was recommended to us by friends who were able to secure a loan through him. He understands my situation as a minister in the PCV and the quirks of our stipend / allowance and how that affects a home loan application. By the end of our time there, it seemed that it would be possible for us to borrow an amount of money which seems horrendously large, but may not be enough to buy anything in the areas we would be keen to start in. Still, it does mean we might be able to get something. So the search continues in earnest. 

On Thursday we had an appointment with the real estate agents and the photographer. This meant that Wednesday night was not a peaceful night as we were determined to make the house as presentable as it could be while we were still living in it. Of course, when I say "we", the reality is that Anne did most of the work. We all chipped in a bit, but Anne did the bulk of the work. Special mention to Tom who did a great job cleaning his room and study area. 

Thursday morning was busy with a final clean up before they arrived. I confess my tension levels were rising with each moment. Here I share a note of frustration. The people who came to visit us are not the ones responsible for our current state, but they are the only ones we get to talk to. I would love the chance to talk with the owner just to ask why he is selling the house. It might help me to understand what's happening. . . And it might not.

Anyway, as we met, they began talking about the 'open for inspection' times, and it became apparent that this was going to happen quickly. In fact, very quickly. The plan was to have it open on the following Thursday afternoon, and then Saturday & Sunday mornings. Then came the classic comment. 

One of the agents must have picked up that I had some concerns about these times and he asked, "Is that inconvenent for you?" He asked it with care and, I believe, genuine concern to work with us. But all I could see in my mind was the shed full of packing boxes, our lives turned upside down, and the search for a house. "Inconvenient!?!?! This whole thing is inconvenient!"

Anne took over the conversation from there. Just one of the many reasons I love her. 

So, while I'm in New Zealand on a study week which was organised and committed to well before we heard anything about selling the house, our home will be opened three times. (On reflection, that might be a good thing. God is good.)

I should add that they did agree to move the Sunday inspection to the afternoon. This means the family can get home from church and take the pets away before people come in.

That was Thursday.

On Friday I spoke with a bank, and we're waiting to hear back from him. Again, my trip to NZ is at an awkward time.

On Saturday, Daniel and I went to look at a few houses, one of which I saw the week before. Daniel pointed out that the wet rooms of the house would need a lot of work, which I kinda knew, but it would be very expensive. That would mean we use all our money, and maybe more, to end up with a house that is too small anyway. 

Today, Tuesday August 19, I received a note that the sign had gone up in front of the house. It describes the home as "Ultimate Family Lifestyle"! Maybe they put those words on the wrong sign. Maybe they don't remember that the roof leaks just outside the back door. And maybe I should accept that real estate agents use language in different ways. 

Here is the link: http://www.realestate.com.au/property-house-vic-bayswater+north-117712507

There are two phrases in this description that I want to quote. It is an absolute pleasure to present this immaculate home . . . and Inspection is sure to impress. The truth of these phrases stands as a testament to Anne and the work she has done in the garden, and her amazing efforts to make the place look better than when we arrived. 

So, if you want to buy a house in Bayswater, here's one to consider. 

The adventure continues Pt1

Since learning that the house that is currently our home was going to be sold, we have been proactive in seeking alternatives. We have made an appointment with a mortgage broker next week and look forward to what we might learn there. Of course we might learn that we're fooling ourselves to think we could possibly afford a house anywhere in Melbourne. We will see.

We have also been looking at some houses online, and have found a few that we think might have potential for us. Keep in mind that we want enough room for all our books and bookshelves, and we need a place for Tom to practice his singing as well as room for his desk.

View from the front

Lounge Area

Today I visited two houses. The first looked quite good. It is in an excellent area, just around the corner from where our church meets - literally, and so it is very close to the Croydon Train Station. The photos online suggested that while it looked terrible outside, the inside had been well taken care off and nicely renovated.

What the information on the website didn't show, is that the home is part of a block of units, so while it does have an enclosed courtyard, the 'backyard' - the view outside the bedrooms - is common land for the units. There is also a 'body corporate' fee that would need to be paid. It would be crowded with bookcases, and near impossible for Tom to practice singing. Kitchen isn't real big either. One of the agents indicated that they have some offers for mid $400k, which is at least $50k above the advertised suggested price.

I left this place frustrated. Why do real estate agents need to be deceitful? I know that the photos are never - NEVER - a true indication of what the place looks like, but there was some key information missing online.

Second house - Outside

The second property I looked at didn't have such a good location, but was good enough. However, the house is so small that it would be impossible. I fear that I sound too proud to live in a humble dwelling when I write this. That is not my intent. It's just that when I consider our family and our needs, the house felt too small.

Lounge and dining. (Looks bigger than it is)

It had a bit going for it though. The position meant that the property backed onto an industrial area - so singing wouldn't be an issue there. The yard is ready for a good makeover, and that is something that we could happily get our teeth into. There is a bungalow, which means it could be a study, or a separate room for Daniel, or a practice room for Tom. Potential!

But the bedrooms didn't have robes, and the lounge/dining area would barely fit part of our furniture, and the kitchen would absolutely need replacing (which could be fun). Is it really worth more than $400k? I can't believe that it is, but expect it would sell for that.

The adventure continues.

The Adventure Begins

This adventure began on Monday August 4 2014 when the real estate agent who looks after the house we are renting called to tell us that the owner of the house is putting it on the market.


My initial response wasn't a positive one. I hate packing and moving house, and I feel like we've done this often enough.
But Anne said to us all that we should look at it like an adventure. And so I shall endeavour to do so.


Rent or Buy

While there are some great advantages to renting, and I'm happy to concede that is true, we are going to try and buy a house. There are two reasons for this. Firstly, it will help as we look to the future and a life beyond pastoral ministry. Second, it will give some control back to us and we won't have to deal with this again. I would add to this that in our time here over $40,000 has been paid in rent. And what do we have to show for it?
Nothing!
Nothing at all! And everything else we have invested in making the place better will be left behind. So we hope the next owners will enjoy the much-improved garden.

So the adventure begins. And we don't know where it will end.

I love it when the darkness begins to lift

Flat. Dark. Blah. These are all words I can use to describe how I have been feeling over the last few days. These feelings don't come as a surprise though. I have been dealing with this for some years now after a period of depression. (I don't describe myself as 'depressed' now. That is a much darker experience than I am having.)

What is that makes me feel like this? I can't tell you how many times I've asked myself that question, but I've never been able to come up with a definitive answer. So I've stopped looking. The other thing I've stopped doing is worrying. The statement 'This too shall pass' is a phrase that I keep in my mind, and history has shown me that it is true. These dark periods come, but they also go.

And I love it when the darkness starts to lift.

Does my faith help me in these times? Absolutely. My weakness doesn't change who or what God is. In fact I would say that without faith and trust in a Sovereign God, I would be in complete despair. 

Yesterday the darkness began to lift. And for that I am thankful.

I have just read this and as it seems relevant to my comments, I'll add it:
Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light,
trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. (Isaiah 50:10)

Proverbs for our time.

I've been reading through the old book of Proverbs in the Bible, and I'm amazed at how relevant words of wisdom are in any age. Some statements can be applied to all who read them, like 

"Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,

but he who hates correction is stupid." (12:1)

or

"Wine is a mocker, and beer a brawler;

whoever is led astray by them is not wise." (20:1)

The opening chapters of the book also contain great wisdom for young men as they are tempted by the attractions of lust. If you have sons, I encourage you to read through these chapters with them. 

What has amazed me though is how relevant some of the phrases are for our time, and how they seem to address some big problems in the world. In recent years, we have seen people of nations rising up against governments that have been oppressive or corrupt. Those in power might think it is prudent to use oppression and corruption to keep their power, but the wisdom written in this Biblical book shows a different course:

"If a king judges the poor with fairness,

his throne will always be secure." (29:14)

"A tyrannical ruler lacks judgement,

but he who hates ill-gotten gain will enjoy a long life." (28:16)

"By justice a king gives a country stability,

but one who is greedy for bribes tears it down." (29:4)

So those who have power and authority over a nation would do well to hear what the Bible has to say about wisdom and leadership. And that is where most of us switch off, because we're not kings or rulers.

But you don't have to be a person in these positions to be an example of fairness or good judgement. Wherever you are, you will have the opportunity to show kindness to people. Whatever you do, you will at some stage be in a position where you can show justice and bring stability, even though it might mean you miss out on a bribe. Show justice anyway. 

And when, one day, you are given a position of responsibility in your work place, your church, your sport club, or even in your nation, let this old wisdom be a guide. It is still relevant.

Happy Mothers Day?

As a child, Mother's Day would be celebrated at church with everyone being invited to take a small flower from a basket to give to their mum. For most people - and as a small boy, it seemed like it was everyone - their mum was in that congregation and so the flowers were given to mothers immediately. And it wasn't unusual for people to give flowers to women who had made a significant impact in their lives. So I remember my mum often bringing home more flowers than those given to her by her three children.

That is my childhood memory.

Then I became a pastor myself. I naturally assumed that what happened at the church I grew up in (The Salvation Army in Hawthorn, Melbourne) happened in all churches. And so the tradition continued. And normally it was good, although I became more aware of women whose children no longer attended the church. This meant there were a number of women who took flowers home, but they didn't come from their own children.

And then one year I was confronted with the heartbreak that mother's day brings to some women. There was a couple in our church who had been unable to have children. She had been pregnant a few times, but had lost these precious children early in the pregnancy. I still remember her deep sobbing as what was a happy day for others was just a reminder of her own lack of children.

And apart from giving her a hug, I didn't know what to do.

A few years later, that church continued the practice of distributing flowers, but also allowed people to light a candle in memory of those mothers who had already died. Regardless of what you might think about candles in church, this had a terrific impact on those who could no longer give flowers to their mum. And I think it had a great impact on those who would light a candle for the children they never nursed.

Today is Mother's Day in Australia. As we go to church, many will celebrate this by making a special focus on mothers. But I would add two pleas to this celebration. Firstly, understand that this not a happy day for some people in your church. By all means, celebrate your mum and those other women who have been like spiritual mothers to you, but remember others graciously. Secondly, remember it is the sacrifice of Jesus, not our mothers, that saves us from sin. Let your worship be for Jesus.

With that in mind, I thank my mum for letting us know that it is Jesus who saves us.

Thanks mum. I love you.

Local church or para-church?

Here's something from Brian Cosby on local church ministry.

http://rootedministry.com/articles/face-para-church-youth-ministry-cannot-replace-local-church

Here he lists six elements of local church ministry that para-church ministries cannot replace.

1. Weekly preaching in Lord’s Day (Sunday) worship.
2. Multi-generational discipleship and service.
3. The spiritual and physical oversight by elders and deacons.
4. Submission and obedience to church discipline.
5. The joy and responsibilities of church membership.
6. An emphasis on family.

The Impossible Dream

What I (perhaps foolishly) assumed was that as this was the advertised price, it was what the vendor would sell the house for. How little I know!

Today we attended our first house auction. We had no intent of making a bid, but thought we'd take the chance to see what happens at an auction. I found it both enlightening and a little depressing. 

Let me set the scene.

This house is in Heathmont, one of the eastern suburbs of Melbourne. It is well situated with schools and public transport in walking distance, as well as easy access to EastLink, a freeway. It wasn't much of a house by most standards, but looked comfortable enough. Clearly the current owners have worked on the property to make it comfortable and practical. Well done them.

The house was advertised at $460,000 plus, so I expected that the final price would be above that.
The bidding opened at $450,000 and sat there for a while. The agent then offered a vendor bid of $470,000. It seemed that it would finish there, until it got to $480,000. Then suddenly someone offered $500,000 and the bidding went nuts! At $530,000 the agent announced he was going inside to talk to the vendor to receive further instructions.

We left at that point.

Two things left me speechless. The first was the perceived dishonesty of advertising. Remember the house was advertised at $460,000 plus. But when the bidding was around $520,000 the agent was asked if the house was now 'on the market' and he said 'No'. What!! If you are not going to sell the house for less than $530,000 then advertise this as the price. Nothing is gained by advertising a lower price.

Secondly, how is it possible that a house that is nothing spectacular by any means could be worth more than half a million dollars!!!! Staggering.

So we came away all but convinced that owning a home of our own is beyond "the impossible dream".

A final comment. The agent in his opening address urged those gathered to "be brave" which I think could be loosely translated as "buy the house!" Is it reasonable for a real estate agent to be urging people 'be brave' regardless of your financial limits? I think not.

Update

After some thought and reflection, here are a couple more thoughts. Firstly, I am grateful that in a life of ministry we have always had a house to live in. My thanks to the churches that have maintained these houses. Secondly, in those times that we have not been in a church house, we have been able to enter a house. These houses have been workable for us. 

Thirdly, I take seriously the promise of Jesus about those who give up all to follow him. And I am thankful to those who have opened their homes to us for meals, for rest, or with invitations to stay. 

But it would be nice to be paint walls or plant trees or make repairs without needing permission from others.

Youth need more than their peers

I share this blog post because it puts into words something that has been on my mind for a while - if we separate age groups in our churches we do so to the peril of teenagers and their future.

http://www.ligonier.org/blog/youth-driven-culture/

The Small Church

Is there any hope for a small church? I am one who believes the answer is 'yes'. The small church will always have a future. By that I mean that there will always small churches because there will always small towns. But many of those small churches will always be under threat. The members of these churches know that Jesus is the Lord of the church and the church universal will not perish, but they also know that small churches struggle.

There are many threats to a small church. Here are a few of them.

1. "We're like a family". 
Strangely enough, the greatest strength of a small church can be its undoing. Many of us who have been in small churches know how wonderful it is that we are all like a family together. We share each others joys and struggles. We know everybody and we are known by everybody. And when someone comes in from a larger church, they often comment on how wonderful this family feel is.
But it's really hard to connect with a family when you're the new person. And a small church can - unintentionally - make people feel unwelcome.
This is most obvious during morning tea after a worship service. If people are standing in a closed circle talking together, the body language says, "No one can join this circle." I know this might not be your intent, but the message is there. And you don't want to give a visitor that message to take home.

2. Family Prayers.
This connects with the first point. In a large church, when it is time for prayer, the minister or someone else is appointed to pray. But in a small church, we share the time of prayer and often bring our prayer requests to the church to pray for. This is nice, and it is good to share our needs with our fellow worshippers, but we often end up with shallow prayers. Again, I believe it is unintentional, but it happens. As one who spends a lot of time in small churches, trust me - it happens.
Let our prayers be more focused on God and less on ourselves.

3. Empty chairs
Small church fellowships and empty chairs naturally go together. But if you can do something to lessen the impact of these empty chairs, then do so. This doesn't mean you should have one person in each row. That is a really dumb idea, because if a family arrives late, they should be able to sit together. Hard to do if there are no empty rows.

4. The glory days.
Most of the small churches have had a time in the past when it was a flourishing church with a full building on Sunday morning, a number of activities during the week, and a huge Sunday School gathering. Praise God for such days. But we damage the hopes for the future when we keep thinking about what God has done and not about what God is doing.

5.  The Big Church.
Those who have been ministers or committed members of a small church will know exactly what I mean here. It's not an accusation of sheep-stealing, but a heart aching reality that the big church is a threat to the small church. And it doesn't even need to be the big church in your town. So many people have visited a small church and decided to go to the bigger church because it 'offers more for my children', or "I prefer the music there", or any other number of reasons. 
If you are the minister of a large church, and someone comes from a small church, what do you do? I assume that you welcome them, as you should. But would you challenge them to stay in the small church? Would you urge them to continue worshipping in their local church rather than travel 25 minutes to come to yours?

I know that there are other threats to small churches. These are just some that stand out for me. What are some of the threats you see?

Living porn-free

Porn is a sad reality in a broken world. I have chosen the adjectives carefully in that first sentence, and while you may or may not agree with them, I stand by them.

I have heard it said that most boys have seen pornography by the time they are 13 and that it is closer to 100% by the time they are 17. And while most teenage boys might just enjoy what they are seeing and the feelings that come with it, it will only be in the future that the toxic reality of what they are doing now will become apparent. Too many men know exactly what I mean here.

Sadly, amongst Christian men there is a burden of fear that is added to the shame most people will feel about using porn; fear that they will be discovered and will be kicked out of their church - which probably wouldn't happen, but the fear is there nonetheless.

There are a number of books and resources to help people dealing with this, and this week I have read Tim Chester's book "Captured by a Better Vision". Chester's aim with this is not just to provide some tools that will help people get off the sinking ship of pornography, but also to help them see beyond it to something different - a better vision.

Here are just a couple of statements that I endorse:
Porn will teach you nothing about good sex. p23
Think about a meal. You feel hungry, you consume the meal and then you feel satisfied. Twenty minutes later, you feel full and you don't want to eat anymore. Think about porn. You feel a desire, you consume porn, but you don't feel satisfied. Porn doesn't deliver. Twenty minutes later, you still feel empty and you still want more. p36 
Our sexuality is supposed to be like the Niagara Falls. The rock constrains the water, forcing it into a powerful surging rush. Porn makes sexuality like the Mississippi delta. The water there is not constrained by anything. It's spread out wide and thin and muddy. p141

If you are tired of the fight against porn, here is a book that can help. But don't read it alone. Find someone to read it with you, and to help you put it's guidance into action. There is something infinitely better. It's time to stop playing with mud-pies when there is a feast being prepared. 

Why do people hate people?

It's a question that probably doesn't rest on our minds enough. And I know that me placing it on my blog won't change that for the majority of the world, but I ask it anyway.

Why do people hate people? 

My initial response is that people hate other people either because something has happened to cause that hatred, or you simply don't mix with those people. But either of these can surely be rectified.

Something happened

I think here of people recovering from war. It is understandable that the people of one nation can come to hate the people of another nation. In Australia, there were many people who hated Japanese people because of what happened during the war. I get that. But consider how flawed it can be.
The thought process might go like this:

• That person hurt me
• that person belongs to that group
• therefore, everyone who belongs to that group must be like that person
• so I hate everyone who belongs to that group.

But this process makes some wild assumptions. Firstly, it assumes that the person has chosen to hurt you personally when it may be that he/she is hurting you because of the group you belong to. Second, it assumes that this person has rightly expressed the values of the group he belongs to. Thirdly, it assumes that everyone in the group feels the same.

My own life tells me that such assumptions are false and dangerous.

So I move to my next thought.

I don't mix with those people

This connects to the first point. And the thought process works something like this 

• That person scares me
• that person belongs to that group
• therefore, everyone who belongs to that group must be like that person
• so I hate everyone who belongs to that group.

In our country at the moment, there is a debate on how to deal with asylum seekers. The people who speak loudest and with the greatest hatred (I use the term rightly, I think) are those who are utterly untouched by these people. But when I hear from those of my friends who are meeting with the asylum seekers, there is no hint of hatred towards them.

I know I haven't answered the question, and I don't think I can. But I can answer it for myself. And I have no right to hate anyone. For sure, there are people I disagree with, and some of them I would disagree completely on some issues. But this does not mean I hate them.

Something to "sit and wonder" about.

Book review "Making Small Groups Work"

I think I've had this book for about ten years, but I've only just read it now. And I'd like to recommend it to others. The author's will be familiar to some because of their series of "Boundaries" books, which are also highly recommended. This book has a different focus, but some of their skills shine through. The book is "Making Small Groups Work" by Drs Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

It's easy to read with 55 short chapters divided into six sections.

What this book will teach you is how to deal with some of the people and issues that come up in leading a small group. These can be planning issues like 'what will this group be?', 'who will this group serve best?', and 'how should this group be structured?' But more than this, you can also learn how to deal with the person who won't say anything, and the person who won't stop!

What this book won't teach you is how to teach the Bible better, now how to prepare a Bible study. As that is not the main aim of the book, that's ok. There are other resources that can help with this.

That being said, those who believe that the best thing we can do in our groups is to study the Bible and see how it applies to our lives will still learn a lot from this book. In fact, I would even suggest that reading this would greatly help your group to be a more interactive group and stop you turning it into a lecture. 

Here is one quote from the chapter on Discipleship that helps to show the direction of the book:
"Sometimes people are confused about the nature of a group: Is it recovery? growth? discipleship? Often, terms such as  recover and  healing refer to the process of addressing broken parts of a person's life, while growth and discipleship are used more in the context of moving toward maturity. . . However, in any type of healthy group, these lines become a little blurry. A group of people who want to become disciples of Christ must also deal with their hurts and injuries." (p112) I would put an emphasis on the last sentence.

More than mortality

On Sunday I received a phone call to let us know a dear friend had died. It wasn't a surprise. Roy was over 80, was suffering with dementia and had cancer. But I am still sad. 

He is Christian, and so I believe the promises of the gospel of Jesus Christ are being fulfilled for him even now. Death has no victory, the grave has no sting. I believe that. And yet I'm feeling the sting of death. The man I knew as strong and loud and determined became confused and sick and forgetful. The last time I saw him I spent an hour talking with him, but he didn't know who I was. Even though we had shared precious times together over twenty years, he didn't know who I was. That makes me sad, and I can't even begin to imagine what it is like for people when it is their own father or mother who doesn't recognise them.

I am sad that a life has ended. I am sad for the way this life ended. I am sad that I didn't get to see him before he died. I am sad.

Yet within that sadness I hold on to the promises of the gospel. Death has no victory. There may be a sting, but it will not last. Nothing, not even death, can separate us from the love of God. 

Roy, I know you can't read these words now, but I'll write them anyway. Thank you for being our friend. Thank you for caring for me and Anne and our boys when they were so little. Thank you for letting them play in your backyard. Thank you for fixing our bathroom and putting a fence on the verandah. 

We will miss you.