Post Christmas ponderings 2013

Christmas has come and gone for another year. It's been good, but there are some things that have stood out for me. 

Christmas Songs

I have missed singing the great hymns and songs of Christmas. This is partly because I haven't been at the same church two weeks in a row for a month. There are so many great songs that testify to the birth of Jesus as Saviour, and they should be sung well. As we only sing them in December even though they are worth singing through the year, I missed them.

This is further amplified by many churches in our denomination choosing not to focus on advent and preparing for Christmas in the way I have always done. I know there are reasons for this, but I would always choose to focus on the birth of a Saviour and its implications right through December.

One more thing. While there are many stupid Christmas songs (Jingle Bells sits at the top of that list), it is my opinion that "All I want for Christmas is you" is a song of immense selfishness.

Christmas Day

I love Christmas Day. It's a great celebration and the greatest reason to celebrate. Our church service at Croydon Hills Presbyterian was terrific, and the highlight was the sermon.

The connection between the promises of the Old Testament and the birth of Jesus were made wonderfully clear. Matthew 1:21-23 is worth reading and meditating on.

Facebook

It was good to see so many people celebrate Jesus and also wish many others a Merry Christmas via Facebook. It's a good way to share your comments, although it can be a little impersonal.

Jesus

No matter how people celebrate Christmas, I have no doubt that the celebration is about Jesus. Nothing else is more important. You might have enjoy the time with your family, you might enjoy presents, you might even enjoy feeding the poor, but the central focus of Christmas is Jesus.

May it always be so for you.

Bible Engagement for Youth

Are the youth in your church engaged with the Bible? That might seem a strange question, so let me re-word it: is the Bible a significant influence in the lives of the youth in your church? Research conducted by the Christian Research Association leads me to believe the answer is probably "no". Now most of us would be unhappy with that, and I think we should be unhappy with that, and I hope to write something more on this issue. 

But for now here are some suggestions to help youth connect to the Bible that can be done overnight:

-take your own Bible to church and do everything you can to get the youth to do the same

-open your Bible for the scripture reading and sermon at church and do everything you can to get the youth to do the same

-after church, ask them what they learned in the sermon

-if the previous question is answered, relate it back to the sermon. (This is, of course, based on an assumption that the sermon will have a connection to the Bible. If this doesn't happen at your church, that's a different topic all together.)

-if you are asked to do the Scripture reading at church, practice at home, and make sure you sound like you believe it. This is much easier if you do actually believe it. 

-if you are a parent, allow your kids to see you reading the Bible.

Do you have some other suggestions? I'd be happy to hear them.

Reflections on NYMC

I have spent the last four days in Coolongatta / Tweed Heads attending the National Youth Ministry Convention. This event provides an opportunity for people involved in youth ministry from right across Australia to receive some excellent professional development, to be inspired and skilled in what they are doing, and, significanty, it means they can also meet other youth workers. 

Here are some thoughts:

If you try to attend everything, you'll be exhausted. 

This is not a criticism of the organisers, but every day was full. With the mornings having either two workshops sessions or a three hour Professional Development session, two workshops in the afternoon, and then a two hour public rally each night, it is a ful program. The advantage of this is that it provides more chances to attend the different workshops. The downside is feeling very tired (and not having time to visit the beach for long.)

The variety of workshops was amazing.

No matter what area of ministry you are involved in, there was something for you. I attended workshops that dealt with issues like "Dealing with Grief, Depression, and Suicide", "Partnering with Parents", "Turning your dream into reality", "The Sexual World of the 21st century adolescent". But this was only a fraction of what was available. Some of the other options were, "Running Life Changing Camps", "Reaching Boys", "Ministry to Girls", "Finding God in popular Culture", and "Redeeming Social Media". But even that is only a small section. 

Some of these workshops will hopefully be available on the NYMC website. 

I enjoyed almost everything I attended.

That sounds worse than I mean, but the evening rallies were the low point for me. This doesn't mean tehy were rubbish, it just means I didn't find them as helpful as everything else. Joel McKerrow gave (said?) two of his poems, and they were great. There is something powerful about the spoken word. 

I attended three of the four rallies (rallys ?) and felt like the speakers were motivational and strong, but it was the final message from Andy Hawthorne that will stay with me. He is exciting, passionate, and sold out to Jesus without being a complete freak. His story is incredible, and the work he is a part of in Manchester is some of the most inspiring things I've seen for a long time. Go to www.message.org.uk to learn more. You won't regret the time.

You'll get to meet great people.

I really enjoyed staying with the group from the Reformed Church. And through this, not only did I get some new Facebook friends, I think I made real friends too. Here is a church that seems to be working hard to support their youth ministry. .

I was also able to meet, and in some cases spend some time with, some of the key people in youth ministry in Australia at this time. The workshops were great, but when you can privately ask your questions, or learn who can help you best on certain issues, that makes it worth coming. 

I'm glad I came.

I miss my family. I wanted ot be home some times, but I'm glad I was here. I've learned a lot, and most of that will take some time to work through. But I know that I wouldn't have learned it so well sitting at my desk just listening to a podcast. 

So, NYMC 2015 should go onto your calendar now. I hope to be there. 

Depression, Grief, and Suicide

Depression, Grief and Suicide

Kylie Butler, Oct 26 2013

With the issues raised in this session, if you need to leave, you are free to do so.

What is depression? It is a complex phenomenon involving both internal mechanisms and external influences. . . The important question is one of intensity and duration. It is considered depression when the symptoms last for more than two weeks and when they are sufficiently intense so as to cause either significant . . . 

Burnout and depression are different, but are highly related and the terms are sometimes used interchangeably.

What to look for in depression?

Isolation

Often hear: fog, flat, anger, always sad

Family, friends concerned - distant

Anxiety

More than a bad day

Lose interest in things they used to love

Awake at night or opposite sleep all the time

What can you do?

Speak with them. 'Are you really ok?'

Encourage to seek medical advice

Speak to family about your concerns

Speak to senior leaders

Encourage them, love them, keep communication open

See Beyond Blue for more info

It's medical. Never say 'Get over it or Stop it!' (Video: buried alive in a box)

Grief

Shared some stories of grief with the questions 'How do you deal with such grief?' There is no answer for some of the questions that come up.

What to look for?

Seasons of grief, grief is not linear. People can go back and forth through stages of grief.

What can you do?

Seek help for yourself, even if you don't know the person who died

Allow them to tell their story again and again

Walk with them for the journey. Stay connected after the funeral.

Know different grief experiences: denial, anger, sadness, hyper, and more. People can repeat these

Journalling, prayer

Support person, remember significant markers. Put these anniversary dates in your calendar so you remember them.

Suicide

Different questions come out for this compared to questions for grief.

What to look for?

Self harm

Speak of suicide

Loss of interest in things they loved

Speaking about their funeral, giving away their possessions

Apathy to life

Sudden change in behaviour

Social media

Approx 80% of young people who complete suicide had told someone they were going to

Triggers can involve stressful situations

What can I do?

Listen and encourage them to talk, take it seriously

Show you care

Provide reassurance without dismissing

Ask if they have a plan for suicide. Point out consequences 

Ensure they can't get weapons or lethal medications

Stay with the person at high risk

Provide contact numbers and assist them to call if needed

Speak to their family 

Keep communication open

Always follow through, never leave it unless you give it to someone else

Don't just tell your own stories or offer too much advice

Don't panic or become judgemental

You are NEVER responsible for someone's self harm or suicide

Panel discussion

Grief: Community is very important in grief. 'Mourn with those who mourn.'

Depression: Woman with depression valued the one who could sit with her and say 'I know what's going on. I see this.'

Suicide: People use social media to ask if they should suicide and how. (I clearly don't know all that's going on in the dark side of social media.)

Questions

How do we deal with anger toward God when people who are great servants of God die are killed?

Long term relational process

Allow people to express their anger to God within the body of the church

Understand that death is part of life

What to do with the phenomenon of failed suicides becoming heroes? 

Give some thought to how we deal with the fall out

Kingdom work can help to promote a greater hero, and one that promotes life and light, not death and darkness

What can we do in the ebb of emotional blackmail?

If they are threatening suicide, don't be afraid to ask how they loan to do it.

It is never about you.

Keep checking with a professional counsellor to ensure you're not saying or doing the wrong things.

How do we encourage youth to deal with these areas in a godly manner, particularly when parents and/or teachers present the exact opposite?

Develop community within the church; a place they can come that is very different to the world around them.

How are we living out the values Jesus taught?

Have a theology of suffering and grief, and talk about this theology. If people only get the picture that only good things happen to Christian, their image of God will be shattered at some point.

Many have been forced to have abortions. How do we deal with grief attached to this?

Talk openly and honestly. Help them to look forward. 

The Babes Project has some resources that can help for this.

Part 2

Questions

First response - what do you do?

Called the pastoral team together immediately.

Call the parents, tell them their children are safe, asking them to come up, and then allowing their children to speak on the phone.

Give space and time for people to be and grieve together

How do you build a faith story in the midst of grief?

Biblical stories of grief

Your own story of grief

Include their stories of grief

Prayer, both alone and in community

Understand the broken world

Journaling

Big story of God

Present hope

God's faithfulness

God's promises

God's truth

These emotions are natural

Listen

Serving people through this grief

God has a plan for us, his goodness in the midst of this pain

Testimonies of others

God works through all situations

God understands our pain

Ask questions (80% listening, 20% talking)

Debunking the myths of faith and grief

If you're faith is strong enough you wouldn't feel like this

It's a long term journey

Who is involved in this process?

The individual

Family

Peers

School

Sports

Church

Online

Work

Church community

Teachers / leaders

(Remember that we only spend a small amount of time each year with this person. They are spending far more time with family; school; etc.)

How can we be pre-emptive?

Community

Facilitate relationships

A safe community

Identify support networks

If you have a problem, who can you go to?

Social media isn't a good strategy for getting help.

Helping them gain an understanding of God

Theology of suffering and God's place in that

What is my identity in God

Encouragement / strength development

Practice laments 

Use the language of suffering

Incorporate the whole family into our ministry. Youth ministry beyond the youth.

Encourage open and vulnerable communication. It's no good tapping into our emotional language only when our emotions are raging hot.

Accept that we will never eradicate grief. 

Adolescent Sexual World

This was a confronting session to sit through, and the advertising industry should hang its collective head in shame. Anyway, here are some notes from the two sessions.

Sexual world of the 21st century adolescent

Melinda Tankard-Reist (Collective Shout)

October 25 2013 2.00pm

The images that are shown here are not from the back blocks of a porn industry. Instead, they are from general advertising, music videos, and magazines.

The cultural landscape is continuing to change in a sexualised manner.

Girls get and believe the message that they need to be thin and sexy to be accepted.

We can and should get angry about this message.

This issue is backed by good research.

90% increase in older adolescents self harming in ten years

60% increase in younger girls in ten years

World studies link these outcomes to the messages given to girls about their bodies

Girls are visiting pro-anorexia websites (how do such things even exist!!)

Things that girls used to talk with Melinda about at school at 16-17, they are now asking at 12-13.

Sexting can result in boys being charged with sexual offences and ending up on the sex-offender register. Teenagers need to know this!

"Silence is the language of complicity. Speaking out is the language of change." Anon

There was so much to take in through this session that I wasn't able to take notes. So I add this with some reflection:

The sexualisation of advertising is producing nothing good

Looking at some advertising images in a setting like this makes me wonder how anyone thought they would be a good idea! I can only assume that there are no women involved in advertising apart from flaunting themselves in front of the camera.

Was there ever a woman's movement in our history? It seems to have failed.

Images that go online that are 'sexy' images are harvested by parasite websites and can end up on porn websites. A study showed that of over 12,000 images, well over 10,000 of them, 88% in fact, ended up on a porn website. Something for girls to keep in mind if they consider posting photos of themselves in bikinis etc.

One complaint can make a significant difference.

Over the road from a boys Grammar School, there was two large billboards for brothels. Standards in advertising, or self-regulation proving its limits.

Dolly magazine is giving sex advice to girls who are legally under age. If they follow through with the advice, the boys could end up in a world of legal trouble.

Girls who are drunk cannot give consent. Taking advantage of a girl who is drunk makes you guilty of an offence, not just of being a prick.

If a company requires its workers to wear a badge that says 'I love sex!', even if those workers are teenage casual workers, the workers unions should be taking action. And consumers who see this should be taking action.

The biggest users of online porn are 12-17 year olds. If this is where boys are learning about sex, the future is bleak.

Part 2 (this is the R18 session)

The session began with a poem from a lady who was locked in a basement by her father when she was ten, sold and a used by pedophiles until she was fifteen when she finally escaped.

One line stands out (although I may have paraphrased it)

Maybe it's time for men to teach boys

That girls are not toys

Your kids may not be looking for porn, but porn is looking for your children.

The average age of first exposure to porn is 11. This is the average. And often the first exposure is very hard core porn.

We are engaging in an unprecedented assault on the sexual development of our teenagers.

Myths

Porn is hard to find

-boys and girls are being exposed to porn

-girls are raised to think of themselves as sexual service stations 

They say 'he seemed to enjoy it.' 

porn is our most prominent sex educator

Porn is harmless

Dr Robi Sonderegger

Independent parliamentary inquiry into child protection (UK)

Australian medical association journal on Internet Pornography and Adolescent Health

Higher risk STI's and unplanned pregnancy

STI's have increased tenfold in the ten to fourteen age group in recent years

Porn is a good sex educator

It is a generic porn sexuality limited in creativity, lacking any sense of love, respect of connection

Girls aren't reporting what is sexual assault because they believe they are supposed to be enjoying it.

The Age Jan 14 2012 'Porn blamed for problems behaviours'

The Age Oct 23 2012 'Parasite' porn sites stealing images and videos posted by teens

Internet Watch Foundation

Porn enhances relationships and connections

Who needs the hassle of dating when I've got online porn? Quote from a anew York Biy

'Love and Sex in an age of pornography' was shown on SBS in Aug 2013

20% would prefer porn to sex with their partner

Girls are disempowered to say no

Porn isn't addictive

'The Brain that changes Itself' book

Porn is behind the counter

Just wander through the shops

Mainstreaming of Playboy brand means it has lost its connection to porn and is popular amongst girls!

Collective Shout

.Mossimo Peepshow competition

www.Melindatankardreist.com

Faking It magazine

Ruby Who book and Video

Book 'Men of Honour'

Turning your dreams into reality

From Dreams to Reality. Andy Hawthorne - The Message Trust

October 25 2013 9.00am Part 1

www.message.org.uk

Andy began this session with his testimony, and that of his brother. God works in the most remarkable ways. "I knew Jesus had accepted me. When I woke up in the morning I wanted to tell people about Jesus."

Key scripture for The Message

Isaiah 43:18-21

“Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

 See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert

and streams in the wasteland.

 The wild animals honor me,

the jackals and the owls,

because I provide water in the desert

and streams in the wasteland,

to give drink to my people, my chosen,

 the people I formed for myself

that they may proclaim my praise.

Inner city Manchester was like a desert, and the young men were like jackals.

There was great evangelism and many coming to Christ at events, but not many were staying with Jesus. Too many were falling away. How to change this? Recruit missionaries to move into the estate. These became known as Eden Teams.

You need a strategy for your youth ministry. Something that is like a city on a hill that gets them excited and shows the leaders have faith. But you also need something like salt and yeast, someone that works consistently and quietly with the individuals. 

We have been charged with the duty of making disciples. 

Damaged people need three things:

Great supportive church community

A safe home

A good job

Every month, one day would be spent in prayer. A local minister would come and share the day with them. This is integral to The Message Trust

Creative Arts

Community Transformation

Eden Workers (think five years minimum)

Ex-Prisoners

Christ-Centered Enterprise

Work is a key part

Second Key Scripture is Psalm 37:5-11

Trust in the Lord and do good;

dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

 Delight yourself in the Lord

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

 Commit your way to the Lord;

trust in him and he will do this:

 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,

the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

do not fret when men succeed in their ways,

when they carry out their wicked schemes.

 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;

do not fret –it leads only to evil.

 For evil men will be cut off,

but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

 A little while, and the wicked will be no more;

though you look for them, they will not be found.

 But the meek will inherit the land

and enjoy great peace.

A Five Stage Process from Dream to Reality

Matthew 10 shows a turning point in the life of Jesus and his Disciples

1. See

Jesus saw the crowds (Mt 9:36-37)

(Andy's grandfather was Robert Hawthorne, a Salvo missionary to India)

We've got to see what's going on around us, beyond our safe youth group.

2. Feel

Jesus was moved with compassion (Matt 9:36)

Surely we have to feel something for the lost

Do we believe people could be living lives of worth and purpose with Christ?

Find an area we can determine will hear the gospel of Jesus. 

Ps 37:4 - God's desires on our hearts

3. Pray

Jesus tells them to pray for workers with a certain purpose (Matt 9:37)

Jesus doesn't say a lot about what we should pray for, but this is clear.

Andy's main job description

-Keep Mission Hot

-Keep Prayer Hot

Read the story of revivals

We're not going to get the job done without praying to The Lord of the harvest

4. Get

Get some authority. Get some workers

Jesus sent the disciples out to fill this task (Matt 10:1)

He gave them authority

5. Go

We've got to go. We've got to be encouraging our young people to go.

So much of our ministry is making people come, when Jesus is calling us to go.

Go with preaching (10:7)

Go to the poor and needy (10:8)

Go in faith (10:10)

-how much would you be stuffed if God didn't turn up?

If I want to dream big dreams, I first need to be aware of the needs that are around me. Then I need to pray, and keep on praying. 

"I'd rather fail spectacularly trying to reach the lost and the poor than do nothing." 

Part 2 11.00am

Mark your church/ministry out of 10

How good are we at seeing the needs of our community?

How much do we Feel for the community?

How are we at prayer?

How are we at getting fresh vision/power from the Holy Spirit?

How are we with Going?

(Results of this survey in our room: See - 5.2; Feeling - 4.9; Praying - 4.7; Getting - 5; Going 4.5)

If there are 10% of people in the church who are gifted as evangelists, you will only find them, they will shine brightest, when you and they are involved in mission.

"Intimacy with Jesus and engagement with culture". The sweet spot is where these join.

Developing your own evangelistic strategy

Acts 20:24

The note from William Booth that is still remembered is the telegram that said "Others".

2 Chron 16:9

The Lord isn't looking for talent, sexiness, strength etc. Instead he's looking for a heart.

Any evangelistic strategy must be

1. birthed in prayer and worship

nothing unites people in care for the lost like praying together for them

-lost-centred worship

Share the stories and celebrate the transformed life

2. Must include everybody

-must be experienced by every member

-teach them about evangelism and how to share the faith

 -make this a core part of your youth ministry

3. Needs to be modelled by the leadership

-reach some lost people

-have stories to share about YOUR evangelistic efforts

4. Needs to be focussed

-ask questions like "What's our geographic area?" "Who are the people we're trying to reach?" "How could everybody in this area hear the gospel in a way they can understand?" "What is the time frame for this?"

"What kind of youth group (church) are we going to be if we're going to reach these people?"

5. Needs to be relational

-an incarnational kind of ministry

-so many efforts fail because they have no connection to the community

8. Needs to be repeated

-don't give up when they hear the news one time. 

-research suggest people need to hear the news seven times 

7. Need to be relevant

-anything that's irrelevant but we do it just because we like it, kick it out

8. Need to be persuasive

-find and use the evangelists

-give people the opportunity

-use big evangelistic events

9. Needs to be faith-fillled

-the Bible shows that faith is important.

-take big risks

-we can rely on God putting his resources into such a task

10. We need to be excellent

-non-Christians won't put up with shoddy efforts

-we spend millions on a church extension, but thousands on reaching the lost

11. Need to make sure it's Jesus centred and Bible based. 

-2 Tim 3:16 shows us that we have everything we need here. 

National Youth Ministry Convention - day 2

Day 2 reveals the great worth of this convention - workshops and networking.

Throughout the day we had the chance to attend three electives on a variety of topics. I attended "Partnering with Parents", "Working with at-risk youth" and "Practical ways to engage youth with the Bible." My notes from these electives are on this blog. 

At the end of the first session we were asked to write down the one thing we will take away with us from the elective. For me it was communicating with parents while on camps. 

For the second elective, it was this: We put ourselves into a place to ensure we are not their idols or heroes, but that we are one of five adults who are connected to this child. And if there aren't five people, find them!

The third elective presented us with some confronting statistics. What stands out for me is that according to the survey, only 4% of youth who grow up in a christian home actually engage with the Bible! How important it is to change this, and how confronting it is to realise that children are acting in the way others - parents and leaders - model their own engagement with the Bible.

It was a good day yesterday. I'm looking forward to what today will bring.

Brian

Engaging Youth with the Bible

Engaging Youth with the Bible

Jeremy Blaise, Bible Society, Qld

October 24 2013 3.45pm

Results of a survey on how youth are connecting with the Bible. This survey was across denomination and with different organisations (SU) supporting. The results are published in "The Bible according to Gen Z". This is available from the Bible Society, as either a book or ebook.

There is a huge difference between 'reading' the Bible and 'engaging' with the Bible.

When we tell people to 'engage with the Bible', what is it that we are encouraging them to do? The implications of this are a little more scary than just reading the Bible.

Statistics

90% who grow up in evangelical home, by the time they're 35, only 16-20% of those are still following some form of a relationship with Jesus. There is a lack of longevity evident here. One of the most important factors is having regular encounters/engagements with the word of God. 

Less than 4% of Christian young people have a regular engagement with the Bible in any form. This is a personal encounter - reading the Bible themselves; choosing to open the Bible.

The single reason people don't read the Bible was they don't understand it. It had no perceived value in their life. 

The number one thing that caused people to engage with the Bible is that it was modelled for them.  Kids who are more engaged with the Bible are like this because they observe it in their leaders. Young people will follow you.

Second, an environment and culture where the Bible was valued.

Video: What about the dinosaurs?

What's a Samaritan?

(These videos will be available on the Bible Society website soon)

What are the implications of these videos being representative of people in our groups?

Working with 'at risk' kids

Here are my notes from the second elective

Ministering to Kids At Risk. Linda White, ACCESS ministries

Realised through chaplaincy that she needed to understand Kids at Risk, or we could end up doing more harm than good.

Our brain is wired differently when we are resilient, and we need to support of others to be resilient

Being at risk means being in a situation that makes me vulnerable to risk, and needing extra support.

Protective factors are factors that help us when in need. For me these are parents, church (and I think particularly of Sunday School leaders), marriage and my children.

What is my relationship to young people?

You need to be secure within yourself to help people work through other issues. If I still have a gaping wound, I end up ministering from a position of desperate need rather than with a scar that shows we have worked through something.

We have so many sub-cultures because people are still looking for community. The village that raises a child may not exist anymore in Australia, but we all still want it at some level. (My paraphrase)

How can I help kids? 

Link them into a community.

We put ourselves into a place to ensure we are not their idols or heroes, but that we are one of five adults who are connected to this child. And if there aren't five people, find them!

Matt 25:31-46 Sheep and goats

What are the needs of young people today that we should meet? 

Kids at risk have even more needs.

Sometimes our behaviour that seems normal is the same kind of behaviour linked to mental health issues.

Video: To This Day

How do we help kids find that beauty?

Treat them with respect

Shut down the ones who don't

Keep telling them what they truly are

Take time with them

Build a group around and with them

Listen, and keep listening

Connect them with role models

Be aware of a persons cultural background too

If you build them up, be aware that you could have a devastating impact if you fail them.

Pray for them, and pray with them. Don't ignore the Holy Spirit as Counsellor

In a study by various psychologists and published by Kidd, protective behaviours included:

Parent and child connection - top of the list!

Supervision - they come on Friday night because it is safe

School connection - or connection to a significant adult in their life

When do you refer to other support or authorities?

Is the child safe?

If you are unsure, get help.

Is the child developing?

Partnering with Parents

These are my notes from the first elective today.

Partnering with Parents. Dr Mike Stevens
October 24 2013

Disciples are hand made, not mass produced. David Kinnaman

Relational discipleship is the model for making disciples.

Youth love the Friday night events, and the leaders that work with them, but it's not just about the event; it's about the journey.

Parents are the primary disciplers. (This is also the premise from 'Almost Christian'.)

There is no perfect family revealed in the Bible.

Sticky Faith
Studies prove what we know; parents are the key influencers.
The faith of the young person will be the faith of their parents. Eg, if the parents only bring their family to church fortnightly, they will be foolish to expect their kids will want to come to youth group every week.

Orange Thinking
Red is the blood of the family, yellow is the church as light of the world. Orange is when they combine. Two combined influences is better than two separate influences.
In church you might get about 40 hours per year with youth as opposed to 3000 hours of unstructured time in a family setting. Can we do all the discipleship in 40 hours, or can we better invest in families?

40 developmental assets
First one is family support
Two is positive family communication
Eleven, family boundaries, clear rules and consequences.
Fourteen, adult role models. People who set the example.

Bo Boshers
Friday night can be like a science experiment where we put the heat on a certain topic, but through the week it goes off the boil without the support from home, and this leads to a constant boiling and cooling and boiling and cooling.

Stages of parent Engagement

Aware
They want to be better in their parenting

Involved
Basic entry level, maybe a reply to an email. Beginning to join the conversation

Engaged
They stop you on Sunday and want to talk and are interested in what's happening in youth ministry.
They're starting to understand that they are the primary discipler.

Invested
They run stuff for you. They're not just looking at their own kids, but are starting to help with others too.

Our role is to help move them along this line. Not all parents will get to be Invested, but we can seek to help move them along. Identify where they are at. In the Engaged and Invested group are potential supporters for your youth leadership.

For those in the Aware and Involved group, we need to build awareness in them.
Make sure they know what is happening.
Tell parents that they are the primary disciplers for their children. Be ready to send articles etc about parenting to support them. "language proceeds culture" so talk it up as often as you can.
Get out in the car park and talk briefly with the parents.
Sundays at church, look for the parents to talk with them.

For those who are Engaged and Invested, we need to create opportunities.
Put a parent involvement lens over your ministry. Don't think about doing more, but think of your ministry with a parent lens on.
Table talk, a place to talk over some big issues, and send stuff home for the parents. Ask parents to do two sessions a week around the tea table talking on these issues. Provide open questions.
At camps, send an email home to the parents each night, include a few photos.
Set up a camp Facebook page, and ask parents to like this page.
Get parents to meet back at church half an hour before the bus returns and talk with the parents about what happened at camp. Give parents three questions to ask their children when they get home.
Have parents involved at youth group. Works best with younger groups.
Be flexible on time commitments. Parents are busy people.
Invite some mid age women to support the leaders, and young adults. Link up these pairings.

Invested
Example. He gave a couple the Orange and Sticky Faith books and asked them to put together a parenting course based on this. Six months later, it happened.

One thing to take away (for me)
Camp facebook page and nightly email.

Question Time
How can I connect with parents
Dessert evenings to share information
Effective speakers

What about kids without parents, or absent parents?
Find parents in your church who have love to share.
Older people who might have time and ability to look after these people.

National Youth Ministry Convention - day 1

I'm sitting on the balcony of the apartment I am sharing and reflecting on the opening events of the National Youth Ministry Convention (NYMC). So far, not much has happened wiht the convention, but I feel like a lot has happened for me!

The next few days give me a great opportunity to sit with and connect with a number of people who are not only involved in youth ministry, but also those who are well experienced in youth ministry. 

I am staying with a group from the Christian Reformed Church of Australa (CRCA), and yesterday I was very pleased to be with someone who had been here before, because I had no idea where we were going when it was time to register. Once we had that sorted out, there was a couple of hours to rest before dinner. The group from CRCA take it in turns to cook for each other, so we crammed into one of the apartments for a Nacho meal - which was very good. I'm not too sure what our group will do when it's our turn to cook though. I'll let you know how that goes after Friday night. 

Our first session began at 8.00pm with Joel McKerrow doing some of his poetry. There is something incredibly powerful about the spoken word, and the imagery that Joel was able to create, and the powerful way he did this was fantastic! 

Then some songs, some introductions, and then a message from Phil Cann. There were some powerful moments in this message about Moses and where he met God and how he served God where he was. Some quotes / thoughts that stood out for me:

Moses turned to this bush because it was different to all the other bushes.

Stop praying for your thousands and focus on the one that comes across your path.

Today we have a number of workshop electives to attend. They all look good, but I can only get to a few. I'll let you know some of what I learn.

Staying for the long haul

Earlier this year, I had the chance to attend the General Assembly of Australia for the Presbyterian Church. I won't try to explain what that all means, except to say it's a gathering of ministers and elders from the Presbyterian Church of Australia that meet every three years. 

A highlight from the Assembly for me was the sermons given each day by Ligon Duncan from Mississippi. If you want to know more, you can read about him here.

His final sermon was one of the most encouraging things I've heard in years about persisting in ministry. If you want to hear it, you can find his sermons here. The titles aren't very imaginative (and maybe that says something), but it's the Third Assembly Exposition that I'm referring to. 

Here are my notes that I took while listening:

2 Tim 4:6-22

Paul's last written word that is found in scripture.

How does faithfulness look at the end of ministry?

1. The faithful minister ministers all his life aiming for the finish line

Paul himself has not yet reached that finish line, but urges a young minister to look to the future, to the finish.

We can be so lost in the present we lose sight of the finish line.

Is this a prayer of yours, that you will reach the finish line?

"When I was young, I wanted to acheive something great. Now I just want to finish well without bringing disgrace on the name of my Lord." Geoff Thomas

2. Faithfulness in ministry does not necessarily mean support of friends and colleagues

V9-10 shows Demas has deserted Paul.

Paul knows what it is to be deserted, but he still loves the church. The reference to Mark helps to affirm this.

3. The faithful minister never stops learning and reading.

He wants books and parchments to read and study.

See v13- "especially the parchments." These are likely scripture portions.

Spurgeon. We do not know what the books were about, or what the parchments were. . . Even an apostle must read. (Find the rest of the quote on this verse. It is gold.)

Also William Tyndale not long before he died.

Even though Paul has experienced all manner of things, revelation and more, still wants to learn more.

4. The faithful minister is always on guard against false teaching.

See v14-15

Paul leaves God to judge Alexander, but warns Timothy to be on guard.

See Paul's instruction to Timothy in book 1. "Don't teach false things. Etc."

False teaching leads the sheep astray.

5. The faithful minister, though deserted, is never alone.

See v16-18

When Paul stood before Nero, he had no one with him. There are no witness account in scripture to tell us how this ended. If ever there was a time for other Christians to be by his side, it was now.

"The Lord stood by me"

What a promise to share with Timothy, and so with all who minister in God's name. Though deserted, we are not alone.

6. The faithful minister never forgets the people to whom, and because of whom, he ministers.

See v19-21

Paul cares for people. He genuinely loves the churches.

He could have adopted the attitude 'I don't need people. I've got Jesus.' after being abandoned. But he doesn't.

Also, note the name Priscilla. Luke always refers to her in the diminutive, but Paul uses her formal name (not made clear in English).

His greetings in the letters show his great respect for women. He was no misogynist.

7. The faithful minister is dependent on Jesus.

See v22

A beautiful benediction. This is not a throw away phrase. We often fade out during the benediction, but don't miss these important words. This relates to everything Paul has just said.

He was abandoned and alone, but was with Jesus. So he prays that The Lord will be with his spirit.

We will not finish, we will not stay to the end, apart from the grace of Jesus.

The joy (?) of voting

It's Thursday evening. On Saturday, the people of Australia get to vote for our Federal Government, and for the third time, I feel like I'm going to stand in that polling booth with the voting slip in my hand, and not know what to do. In fact, at the last election I wanted to write on the slip "Oh God, forgive us for what we are doing to ourselves." But I didn't.

So what should I do? Here's my dilemma. We have two major political parties, the Labor Party led by Kevin Rudd (our current Prime Minister), and a coalition of the Liberal and National Parties, currently led by Tony Abbott. Our third largest party is the Greens, led by Christine Milne. After this there are a ridiculous number of minor parties, most of whom probably believe that they are doing something good, but whom I think just muddy the already cloudy waters.

I find that I simply cannot vote for the Labor party. I have in the past, when I believed that they were ready to do the right thing. This time around, I just can't vote for them. Here are some of my reasons:
while the Australian public don't vote for the leader, the Labor Party have been a leadership joke over the last five years. In 2007 they won with K. Rudd as leader. Then the people he worked with couldn't stand him anymore, so they removed him and Julia Gillard became Australia's first Prime Minister. She wasn't very popular, and while they did win the election in 2010, it was a tight win. She might have been a good PM if she didn't have the battle of a hung parliament. I guess we'll never know because a few months ago her party abandoned her and went back to K. Rudd.

And five senior ministers left the parliament. If these five experienced and qualified people can't work with Rudd, why would I want him to lead our country?

Then there was his answer to the question about his support of same-sex marriage on Q&A on Monday night. I fully understand that my view of same-sex marriage is not the same as every one else's view. I also understand that many who call themselves Christians have a different view (although I cannot comprehend how). Kevin Rudd absolutely calls himself a Christian, is consistently interviewed outside a church, and seems intelligent. And he is a bully. And he is scripturally ignorant.

I can't vote for the Labor Party.

Which leads me to the Coalition.

Even before the election was called, the Coalition promised all their costings would be made public in good time. They talked a lot about financial figures, and they do have a pretty good track record financially, but they failed today. With the election on Saturday, they didn't release their costings until today. And while I make no claim to being able to understand all the finances, I am appalled that the Coalition is happy to slash support for overseas aid. When our country is quite affluent, and so many around the world are starving, surely we should be doing something to help!!

So, I'm not sure about the Coalition either. Others talk about Tony Abbott's character to be questionable, but I have no reason to accept this viewpoint.

Both parties have quite disgusting policies to deal with asylum seekers. I know that this situation is a vexed and difficult one, but both parties seem to be working hard to be worse than the other one. And the poor are the ones who continue to suffer.

Should I vote for the Greens then? Not a chance.

So what to do. As I look ahead to the election, I don't have much hope for our immediate future. It's times like this that I'm glad to be a follower of Jesus Christ. I don't have much hope for the leadership of our country, but I have a firm hope in God.

Remember what I nearly wrote on that voting slip back in 2010? Maybe it will happen this year.

Abandon the High Council in The Salvation Army

It’s time to abandon the High Council in The Salvation Army.

In recent days the High Council of The Salvation Army (TSA) have been gathering to determine who will be the next General of TSA. So far, to my knowledge, five men have been selected, one of whom will spend the next few years as General. I don’t know these men personally, so I can only assume that each of them are capable, that they are deeply committed to Jesus and committed to the mission of The Salvation Army. 

But I fear they will be discredited before they start.

And that is because they are male and they are white. 

This photo appeared on my facebook feed, and while there are some clear errors on the list (the years don’t seem to add up) it is the comments that appeared that concern me most. Here are a few, (I have chosen not to include the names)

·      While each of these candidates have my respect, I am waiting for the day we have a General from the Two Thirds world that represents the most significant growth in The Salvation Army.

·      majority of them have spent 30 odd years working at in a office playing with the photocopier machine! lol And not working in the "field"

·      I would actually have liked to have seen a Commissioner from somewhere like Africa, India, or South America nominated. I think they would have a good new perspective on evangelism and living a Christ-like life that they could bring to the rest of the Army.

Add these thoughts to the blog that I read from a current Corps Officer, - the-next-general - and I’m left with an uneasy feeling.

I have an uneasy feeling that until a married woman is appointed as General, too many salvo officers will not believe that the current General is the right person.

I have an uneasy feeling that until an officer from Africa/Asia is appointed as General, the current General will not be accepted by current officers.

But I add to that a very uneasy feeling that when someone in these categories is appointed, many will feel that he/she is just a token general.

So maybe it’s time to just abandon the idea of the high council. I don’t have any suggestions for an alternative, but maybe it’s time for a change.

A Consistent Question

Every year at the PYV (Presbyterian Youth Victoria) Summer Camp, we give people the opportunity to ask questions, and pretty much every year, this question comes up: “What happens to babies when they die?” I have had the task of answering this a couple of times, and have heard others answer the question too.

In PYV circles, this is no longer academic.

On Monday, we sat in a crowded church with a large number of hurting people and stared at the small white coffin at the front of the church. If you have ever been to a funeral for a baby or a toddler, you will know the horrible feeling that I’m describing here. A life that we all expected to be full of joy and happiness didn’t even get the chance to take a first breath. And we are all left wondering why such a thing should happen.

Searching for an answer to that question is often fruitless and frustrating, but this funeral had something special about it. Here the question of what happens to babies who dies was irrelevant. There was no doubt about what happened – we all believe that she is with Jesus; she is in a place infinitely better than earth (though we wish she was still here); and we believe that she will be united with her parents again one day.

So as we sat in that church, we had the opportunity to worship God. We sang to the one who absolutely understands what it means to have a child die. We prayed that God would comfort the family and friends of this hurting family. And we heard about the only One who can give us hope in such times. “Nothing can separate us from the love of God.”

Does it stop the hurt? No. Does it mean we don't grieve? No. Will we ever laugh and smile again? Yes, but maybe not just yet.

And was the original question answered? Yes.

We need a new anthem NOW!

It's a standing joke that most Australians don't know the words of "Advance Australia Fair", our national anthem. I don't think it's a great tune, and some of the words seem a bit odd - 'girt' always makes me laugh. But there is a line in the second verse which is no longer relevant, and so we should abandon the anthem.

This line reads, "For those who've come across the seas, we've boundless plains to share". But today our Prime Minister, the one who is elected to speak for Australia, has announced that no one who arrives by boat as a refugee will be allowed to stay in Australia. Instead, those people who have left their homeland for all sorts of reasons; those people who have risked everything to get to Australia; will be flown to Papua New Guinea where they will be 'processed'. And if they are found to be genuine refugees, then they will still be unwelcome in Australia.

There is so much that is WRONG with this decision, but I won't comment on that here.

However, there are two things that stand in my mind.
Firstly, we should abandon our National Anthem. It is now a joke.
Second, when we do have an election, who do we vote for now? The Labor party have made this decision, and the Liberals support it.

"For those who've come across the seas, we've . . ." Fill in the blanks yourself.

Don't dismiss the small church

I remember hearing once that God must love small churches. He made so many of them. We want churches to grow, and that's good, but many churches are in areas where having a big church is unlikely, and many faithful Christians appreciate the feel of a small church. But this isn't a debate about large or small churches.

This is about a small church with a big hope.

I spent last weekend with the youth group connected to the Benalla Presbyterian Church. There was 17 people from grade 6 to year 12, and then on Saturday night some of the families from the church came to join us for the Camp Concert - where I saw a camp skit I hadn't seen for thirty years! And it still made me laugh!!

There are a whole lot of churches with that size of youth in their church who wouldn't even dream of having a youth camp. But this church did. There are a lot of churches who would say it wasn't worth the hassle of organising a campsite and getting someone to cater and all that goes with it. But this church believed it was worth it. And it wasn't just the minister. Some people came to cook the food that other people in the church had donated. Some people couldn't come, but they covered the cost for some of the youth to get there.

What will it achieve? In God's grace, we believe it will lead to changed lives and world impact. Because we can't read the future, we don't know what these young people will grow to be. But that is the same in a big church or a small church. Don't let that stop you from getting people together and sharing the gospel together.

I had a great time at the camp, and I was pleased my son Daniel was able to be there too. We met some great people. Some young, and some not. But all connected.

So don't dismiss the small church. Pray for them. Support them. And if the small church is the one near you, then go there. You might just meet some of God's great people there.

And if you're in the Benalla area, look out for the Presbyterian church. God's people live there.

Friendship and Ministry

The strength of friendship

In the world of ministry, many of us have responded to the call to “forsake all to follow Jesus.” This has often meant moving away from our friends and family firstly to attend a training college, and then to serve as a parish minister which is usually no where near anyone we know. And that’s ok.

But what if . . .

What if we worked with a different paradigm? What if I could travel back in time and instead of leaving my group of close friends, what if we committed our lives to the ministry of Jesus together? We could use the strength of our friendship and the different skills that we have, and a common love for Jesus to build a ministry that might be far stronger than anything we could do on our own. I am now in my mid-forties, and every time I have moved to a different church or a different ministry setting, it has meant forming new friendships – which has been great – but it takes time to build deep friendships.

So if I try to imagine the last twenty years in ministry but now in those thoughts include two or three of my closest friends through those years, I can’t even conceive how different it might be.

I’m not sad about the ministry experience I have had, and I’m grateful for the many friends I have as a result of this; but what if . . .

What if you and your two best friends began to consider how you could impact the world around you in the name of Jesus Christ? What would you do? What could you do together that you couldn’t do on your own?

What could you do together that you couldn’t do on your own? (Repeat this sentence a few times, but read it slowly.)

I think I need to sit and wonder about this a bit more.

A couple of final points. Firstly, I am incredibly grateful for my wife who is my greatest friend, and who has been a part of this ministry journey for nearly 21 years now. Secondly, I acknowledge that anything we can do is by God’s grace.

Big Grace

I've just been reading through another blog and in the middle of describing a troubled period of life, the writer included this phrase,

"I was getting a vision of a very big Jesus with a very big grace for sinners from them."

This got me thinking about how I present the message of Jesus to those around me. When I get the opportunity to preach, do I urge people to live better lives or do I point them to the one who can help them to lead better lives? Do I preach about the condemnation of sinners, or do I preach about the one who gave his all to save those same sinners?

And if I think about this too long, I find myself wishing I could go back through the last 20 years, apologise to some churches for what I have preached and instead urge these people to hold on to Jesus Christ. But I can't go back. (Not that I intentionally misled people. I just fear I have missed the main point too often. Forgive me?)

So, I want to give a vision of a very big Jesus with a very big grace for sinners. And I hope the Church can do the same - but that's another topic all together.

If you want to read the blog I refer to you can find it here: http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/gospeldrivenchurch/2013/05/15/john-piper-and-mark-driscoll-talked-me-off-the-bridge/

I know nothing about the writer other than what he has recorded in this blog.

Wedding Rehearsal

Tonight I took party in a wedding rehearsal. I didn't have a big part to play,  just playing my bass. But it isn't about me. It is about two young adults who love each other and want to make that relationship formal and lifelong.
The songs and venue also reflect another love - a love for Jesus and a love for the Church. And when a couple love each other, and they both love Jesus, and they love to be in the Church, it provides a solid foundation and the materials for a solid building.
So I wonder what the future will hold for them.  I don't know, but I'm confident it will be good.
And I'm looking forward to Saturday.

Hospital Sitting

There's nothing quite like sitting next to a hospital bed. The person you are visiting often can't get involved in a conversation; there is always other noise around you; and the nurses keep coming in.
But for all that,  most of us know that this is where you need to be.
This week I feel like I have spent so much time in hospital just sitting. So much work is waiting for my attention and has been neglected. There are so many things I could have been doing.
And none of that matters.
This is where I need to be.

More sitting

I'm once again sitting in the emergency room of our local hospital in the wee hours of the morning waiting for my darling wife to see a doctor. The real disappointment here it's that she had been home from hospital for around 13 hours before we needed to come back.
Am I really disappointed though? Not really. 
Around the world there are millions of people who cannot get the medical attention we will receive.
So we might be tired (exhausted actually) but still glad to be here.

My first blog post! How exciting!!

Why "Sit and Wonder"? This is part of a song by Deep Purple called "Soon Forgotten" from their album "Purpendicular". It's not my favourite song by any means, but the opening line is something that is often on my mind:

Sometimes I sit and wonder; sometimes I just sit.

This phrase sums up how I feel sometimes. And it just seemed a good title for a blog.

But will anyone read it? Who knows!