Local church or para-church?

Here's something from Brian Cosby on local church ministry.

http://rootedministry.com/articles/face-para-church-youth-ministry-cannot-replace-local-church

Here he lists six elements of local church ministry that para-church ministries cannot replace.

1. Weekly preaching in Lord’s Day (Sunday) worship.
2. Multi-generational discipleship and service.
3. The spiritual and physical oversight by elders and deacons.
4. Submission and obedience to church discipline.
5. The joy and responsibilities of church membership.
6. An emphasis on family.

The Impossible Dream

What I (perhaps foolishly) assumed was that as this was the advertised price, it was what the vendor would sell the house for. How little I know!

Today we attended our first house auction. We had no intent of making a bid, but thought we'd take the chance to see what happens at an auction. I found it both enlightening and a little depressing. 

Let me set the scene.

This house is in Heathmont, one of the eastern suburbs of Melbourne. It is well situated with schools and public transport in walking distance, as well as easy access to EastLink, a freeway. It wasn't much of a house by most standards, but looked comfortable enough. Clearly the current owners have worked on the property to make it comfortable and practical. Well done them.

The house was advertised at $460,000 plus, so I expected that the final price would be above that.
The bidding opened at $450,000 and sat there for a while. The agent then offered a vendor bid of $470,000. It seemed that it would finish there, until it got to $480,000. Then suddenly someone offered $500,000 and the bidding went nuts! At $530,000 the agent announced he was going inside to talk to the vendor to receive further instructions.

We left at that point.

Two things left me speechless. The first was the perceived dishonesty of advertising. Remember the house was advertised at $460,000 plus. But when the bidding was around $520,000 the agent was asked if the house was now 'on the market' and he said 'No'. What!! If you are not going to sell the house for less than $530,000 then advertise this as the price. Nothing is gained by advertising a lower price.

Secondly, how is it possible that a house that is nothing spectacular by any means could be worth more than half a million dollars!!!! Staggering.

So we came away all but convinced that owning a home of our own is beyond "the impossible dream".

A final comment. The agent in his opening address urged those gathered to "be brave" which I think could be loosely translated as "buy the house!" Is it reasonable for a real estate agent to be urging people 'be brave' regardless of your financial limits? I think not.

Update

After some thought and reflection, here are a couple more thoughts. Firstly, I am grateful that in a life of ministry we have always had a house to live in. My thanks to the churches that have maintained these houses. Secondly, in those times that we have not been in a church house, we have been able to enter a house. These houses have been workable for us. 

Thirdly, I take seriously the promise of Jesus about those who give up all to follow him. And I am thankful to those who have opened their homes to us for meals, for rest, or with invitations to stay. 

But it would be nice to be paint walls or plant trees or make repairs without needing permission from others.

Youth need more than their peers

I share this blog post because it puts into words something that has been on my mind for a while - if we separate age groups in our churches we do so to the peril of teenagers and their future.

http://www.ligonier.org/blog/youth-driven-culture/

The Small Church

Is there any hope for a small church? I am one who believes the answer is 'yes'. The small church will always have a future. By that I mean that there will always small churches because there will always small towns. But many of those small churches will always be under threat. The members of these churches know that Jesus is the Lord of the church and the church universal will not perish, but they also know that small churches struggle.

There are many threats to a small church. Here are a few of them.

1. "We're like a family". 
Strangely enough, the greatest strength of a small church can be its undoing. Many of us who have been in small churches know how wonderful it is that we are all like a family together. We share each others joys and struggles. We know everybody and we are known by everybody. And when someone comes in from a larger church, they often comment on how wonderful this family feel is.
But it's really hard to connect with a family when you're the new person. And a small church can - unintentionally - make people feel unwelcome.
This is most obvious during morning tea after a worship service. If people are standing in a closed circle talking together, the body language says, "No one can join this circle." I know this might not be your intent, but the message is there. And you don't want to give a visitor that message to take home.

2. Family Prayers.
This connects with the first point. In a large church, when it is time for prayer, the minister or someone else is appointed to pray. But in a small church, we share the time of prayer and often bring our prayer requests to the church to pray for. This is nice, and it is good to share our needs with our fellow worshippers, but we often end up with shallow prayers. Again, I believe it is unintentional, but it happens. As one who spends a lot of time in small churches, trust me - it happens.
Let our prayers be more focused on God and less on ourselves.

3. Empty chairs
Small church fellowships and empty chairs naturally go together. But if you can do something to lessen the impact of these empty chairs, then do so. This doesn't mean you should have one person in each row. That is a really dumb idea, because if a family arrives late, they should be able to sit together. Hard to do if there are no empty rows.

4. The glory days.
Most of the small churches have had a time in the past when it was a flourishing church with a full building on Sunday morning, a number of activities during the week, and a huge Sunday School gathering. Praise God for such days. But we damage the hopes for the future when we keep thinking about what God has done and not about what God is doing.

5.  The Big Church.
Those who have been ministers or committed members of a small church will know exactly what I mean here. It's not an accusation of sheep-stealing, but a heart aching reality that the big church is a threat to the small church. And it doesn't even need to be the big church in your town. So many people have visited a small church and decided to go to the bigger church because it 'offers more for my children', or "I prefer the music there", or any other number of reasons. 
If you are the minister of a large church, and someone comes from a small church, what do you do? I assume that you welcome them, as you should. But would you challenge them to stay in the small church? Would you urge them to continue worshipping in their local church rather than travel 25 minutes to come to yours?

I know that there are other threats to small churches. These are just some that stand out for me. What are some of the threats you see?

Living porn-free

Porn is a sad reality in a broken world. I have chosen the adjectives carefully in that first sentence, and while you may or may not agree with them, I stand by them.

I have heard it said that most boys have seen pornography by the time they are 13 and that it is closer to 100% by the time they are 17. And while most teenage boys might just enjoy what they are seeing and the feelings that come with it, it will only be in the future that the toxic reality of what they are doing now will become apparent. Too many men know exactly what I mean here.

Sadly, amongst Christian men there is a burden of fear that is added to the shame most people will feel about using porn; fear that they will be discovered and will be kicked out of their church - which probably wouldn't happen, but the fear is there nonetheless.

There are a number of books and resources to help people dealing with this, and this week I have read Tim Chester's book "Captured by a Better Vision". Chester's aim with this is not just to provide some tools that will help people get off the sinking ship of pornography, but also to help them see beyond it to something different - a better vision.

Here are just a couple of statements that I endorse:
Porn will teach you nothing about good sex. p23
Think about a meal. You feel hungry, you consume the meal and then you feel satisfied. Twenty minutes later, you feel full and you don't want to eat anymore. Think about porn. You feel a desire, you consume porn, but you don't feel satisfied. Porn doesn't deliver. Twenty minutes later, you still feel empty and you still want more. p36 
Our sexuality is supposed to be like the Niagara Falls. The rock constrains the water, forcing it into a powerful surging rush. Porn makes sexuality like the Mississippi delta. The water there is not constrained by anything. It's spread out wide and thin and muddy. p141

If you are tired of the fight against porn, here is a book that can help. But don't read it alone. Find someone to read it with you, and to help you put it's guidance into action. There is something infinitely better. It's time to stop playing with mud-pies when there is a feast being prepared. 

Why do people hate people?

It's a question that probably doesn't rest on our minds enough. And I know that me placing it on my blog won't change that for the majority of the world, but I ask it anyway.

Why do people hate people? 

My initial response is that people hate other people either because something has happened to cause that hatred, or you simply don't mix with those people. But either of these can surely be rectified.

Something happened

I think here of people recovering from war. It is understandable that the people of one nation can come to hate the people of another nation. In Australia, there were many people who hated Japanese people because of what happened during the war. I get that. But consider how flawed it can be.
The thought process might go like this:

• That person hurt me
• that person belongs to that group
• therefore, everyone who belongs to that group must be like that person
• so I hate everyone who belongs to that group.

But this process makes some wild assumptions. Firstly, it assumes that the person has chosen to hurt you personally when it may be that he/she is hurting you because of the group you belong to. Second, it assumes that this person has rightly expressed the values of the group he belongs to. Thirdly, it assumes that everyone in the group feels the same.

My own life tells me that such assumptions are false and dangerous.

So I move to my next thought.

I don't mix with those people

This connects to the first point. And the thought process works something like this 

• That person scares me
• that person belongs to that group
• therefore, everyone who belongs to that group must be like that person
• so I hate everyone who belongs to that group.

In our country at the moment, there is a debate on how to deal with asylum seekers. The people who speak loudest and with the greatest hatred (I use the term rightly, I think) are those who are utterly untouched by these people. But when I hear from those of my friends who are meeting with the asylum seekers, there is no hint of hatred towards them.

I know I haven't answered the question, and I don't think I can. But I can answer it for myself. And I have no right to hate anyone. For sure, there are people I disagree with, and some of them I would disagree completely on some issues. But this does not mean I hate them.

Something to "sit and wonder" about.

Book review "Making Small Groups Work"

I think I've had this book for about ten years, but I've only just read it now. And I'd like to recommend it to others. The author's will be familiar to some because of their series of "Boundaries" books, which are also highly recommended. This book has a different focus, but some of their skills shine through. The book is "Making Small Groups Work" by Drs Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

It's easy to read with 55 short chapters divided into six sections.

What this book will teach you is how to deal with some of the people and issues that come up in leading a small group. These can be planning issues like 'what will this group be?', 'who will this group serve best?', and 'how should this group be structured?' But more than this, you can also learn how to deal with the person who won't say anything, and the person who won't stop!

What this book won't teach you is how to teach the Bible better, now how to prepare a Bible study. As that is not the main aim of the book, that's ok. There are other resources that can help with this.

That being said, those who believe that the best thing we can do in our groups is to study the Bible and see how it applies to our lives will still learn a lot from this book. In fact, I would even suggest that reading this would greatly help your group to be a more interactive group and stop you turning it into a lecture. 

Here is one quote from the chapter on Discipleship that helps to show the direction of the book:
"Sometimes people are confused about the nature of a group: Is it recovery? growth? discipleship? Often, terms such as  recover and  healing refer to the process of addressing broken parts of a person's life, while growth and discipleship are used more in the context of moving toward maturity. . . However, in any type of healthy group, these lines become a little blurry. A group of people who want to become disciples of Christ must also deal with their hurts and injuries." (p112) I would put an emphasis on the last sentence.